HOW TO DEVELOP PRACTICAL NEGOTIATION TRAINING SKILLS

By Jim Camp

One of the most valuable business skills you can ever master is the art of negotiating. Negotiating is not about outsmarting or manipulating a respected negotiation opponent into giving you what you want -- such as a promotion, a big sale, or a new contract. Negotiating is about understanding human behavior -- yours and your negotiation opponent's -- so you can navigate through emotions, clarify misunderstandings, articulate challenges, and help your negotiation opponent build a vision of his or her problem for which you, and you alone, offer the most optimal solution.

Employers and managers who learn how to put smart negotiating training skills into practice gain respect from their negotiation opponents and earn a reputation for being fair-minded straight shooters. Moreover, you will feel calm and confident once you see that you can consistently negotiate the best deal for yourself by following the same time-tested negotiation training system every time. Like a martial art, negotiating training has a set of principles and maneuvers that, once learned, can be adapted to any type of conflict or transaction.

Negotiating is perhaps the one training tool that, when mastered, can help you excel in any type of business setting or situation.

The Camp system of negotiating training, known as Systematic Decision-Based Negotiation training, or the "No System" for short, is now favored negotiation training course material in MBA programs from Harvard to NYU because it takes the emotion out of the formula. We've learned that the once popular "getting to yes," win-win negotiation training, and collective bargaining approaches -- all based on feel-good negotiation training strategies aimed at trying to be friends -- were getting Americans killed at international negotiating tables. Americans' desire to be liked hands the negotiation advantage over to the other side every time. In the No negotiation training System, you don't try to control your negotiation opponent's emotions, and it doesn't matter if you and the other party are going to be friends for life. What you will gain doing it this way is respect.

Why No Is the Best Word in English
When learning how to negotiate, it's essential that you get over your fear of the word "no." Children are not afraid of "no." In fact, children understand that "no" is not the end of a conversation, but the beginning of a negotiation! When a child says "no" or hears "no," he or she knows instinctively that a back-and-forth negotiation will ensue.

The same is true in any business negotiation. Start by inviting your respected negotiation opponent to say "no." Tell him or her that you will not take "no" as a personal rejection, but as an honest decision that can be discussed and perhaps reversed. A shrewd negotiation adversary will view you with more respect; a naïve negotiation adversary will feel safer. "No" clears the air. "No" says that no one is playing any games. Resist the urge to compromise or to say "yes." A quick "yes" is generated by out-of-control emotions, fears of losing the deal, or trying to save the other side. Once you say "yes," the negotiation is over. A "maybe" isn't a negotiation decision at all. It is the worst response one can hear in any negotiation. It leads to nothing more than frustration and a waste of time.

A negotiation, by definition, gives each party the right to say "no." You also have the right to say "no." When you do, you are not closing the book on further negotiation, because every "no" is reversible. When you say "no," you must do it in a non-threatening manner. Use a nurturing statement along with the "no" to mitigate any perceptions of harshness. For example, "I can't do that, but I do see where you are coming from. I see the problem and would like to help. What other possible solutions do you see?"

Why Emotions Kill Your Negotiation Advantage
Another founding negotiation training principle of the "No Negotiation Training System" is controlling your emotions. Emotions bog you down, cloud your ability to make clear negotiation decisions based on fact, and almost instantly give the advantage to the other side. Emotions are the number-one deal killer -- and neediness is the worst culprit.

Think of predators, like big cats or polar bears. Their instinct is to be always on the lookout for signs of weakness in their prey. In a negotiation, your respected opponent -- whether it's a B2B customer trying to lowball your prices, or a team member undermining your new proposal -- is likewise looking for signs of weakness so he or she can go for the kill. Your job at the negotiating table is to become a blank slate. You have no needs. You need food and water. You don't need this raise, this sale, or this deal. Once you are clear about the difference between wants and needs, it will set you free.

Other emotions to avoid: excitement, of closing the deal; fear, of losing or seeming weak; hope, of winning; judgment, of the other's lame style; anger, at the other negotiation party's behavior, and so on. The easiest way to get rid of all emotions is to return to the no-need negotiation training principle. Don't be needy, and you'll be able to stay calm.

Nimble negotiating is all about behavior. You can't control what the other person does or says. You can control what you do and say. Think behaviors, forget results.

How to Negotiate in Their World
The foundation of successful negotiation training is to get the other side to see that doing X for you -- e.g., promoting you, buying your product, choosing you over another client, adopting your new initiative -- will benefit him or her by solving problems, fulfilling needs, and accomplishing critical business objectives.

Therefore, before you go into the negotiation, have a valid negotiation mission and purpose that is set in your respected opponent's world. Without it, negotiation failure is almost always the result. Let's say your company makes the very best electronic component for your prospective client's product. Your negotiation mission and purpose should not be to sell 100,000 of these components, or to up your sales to a million dollars worth of product, or any other negotiation result that is based in your world. Your negotiation mission and purpose, in order to be valid and therefore effective, must be based in your respected opponent's world. In this case, your negotiation mission and purpose might be to provide the very best components in an efficient manner, to enhance the reliability and profitability of the end product to assure the success of your client in the marketplace.

Once you root your negotiation M&P in their world, start helping them build a vision of what they need. You do this by asking interrogative-led questions -- who, what, why, how, where, when -- to get the other negotiation party revealing his or her wants, needs, problems, issues, challenges, and so on. As their vision becomes more detailed and real, their decision-making process becomes easier.

Ask your questions one at a time and keep them short. Put your negotiation opponent at ease by listening carefully to his or her answers, and take notes. Adopt a non-threatening, nurturing attitude in body and mind. Sit back, relax, and slow your delivery, lower your voice, no sudden moves. If your negotiation opponent asks questions of you, answer his or her question with a question in return. We call this a reverse, and it should be preceded with a nurturing statement. For example, if your opponent asks you, "What will this option do for me?" you might answer, "That's an excellent question. But before we get to that, what's the biggest challenge you're facing in this area?" By asking, rather than answering, you won't make the very common mistake of making assumptions, having an opinion, second-guessing, or delivering a presentation. All of these behaviors on your part give your negotiation opponent the opportunity to reject or judge what you're offering or what you want. Instead, stay in control of the conversation and get him or her to articulate business goals and challenges that you can help him or her meet.

Preparation Makes Perfect
Naturally, preparation is key to asking the right questions. Preparation also helps you to stay calm and composed. Before you go into any negotiation meeting where a transaction will take place -- even if it's an email exchange or a phone call -- learn everything about your negotiation opponent and your own position. Read and research everything you can that's relevant.

Never enter into a negotiation without a negotiation agenda. A valid negotiation agenda should contain problems, your baggage, their baggage, what you want, what happens next. Know what baggage you bring to the table, and try to find out or piece together what baggage or problems the other party is lugging around. You can never be overprepared.

Practice is what makes perfect. Becoming a negotiations master does not happen overnight. Most people who want to learn it well get professionally trained. But these are some basic negotiation training principles to get you started. Smart negotiating is about approaching a problem with emotional neutrality, and then controlling your behavior every step of the way in order to base your negotiation decisions on facts and information that you have carefully gathered and pieced together for your negotiation opponent during the course of your dialogue. Staying calm, not being needy, focusing on your own behavior -- the only thing you can control -- and showing genuine curiosity and interest in meeting your negotiation opponent's challenges and grasping his or her salient issues are all basic negotiation training strategies that will give you an edge in every negotiation.

10 Practical Negotiating Training Tips

Start with "no." Resist the urge to compromise. Instead, start by inviting your respected negotiation opponent to say no.

Never think about closing. Do not think about, hope for, or plan for the outcome of the deal. Focus instead on what you can control: your behavior and activity during the negotiation.

Prepare. Before you go into the meeting, learn everything about your negotiation opponent, the competition, and your own position.

Identify problems standing in your way. Before the negotiation meeting, write down every problem you can think of that might come up, so you can bring them out into the open. Always address the elephant in the negotiating room.

Leave all emotions outside the negotiation door. Turn your mind into a blank slate. Exercise self-control so you have no expectations, fears, or judgments. Above all, overcome all neediness, the number-one deal-killer.

Let your negotiation opponent feel "more okay" than you. This is the "Columbo Effect." Do not dress to impress, name drop, or get on a grandstand. Let your negotiation opponent be completely at ease with you, and perhaps even feel a bit superior.

Get him or her revealing problems. Don't talk -- listen instead. When you do talk, don't give your negotiation opponent ammunition and things to object to. Instead, ask great questions that begin with what, why, how, when, and where. Find out what your negotiation opponent wants so you can help solve his or her problems.

Build a negotiation mission and purpose rooted in his world. Every negotiation, whether it's a phone call or a formal business negotiation meeting, needs a negotiation mission and purpose. Yours is to help your respected negotiation opponent see how your three or four top features will help him or her achieve key business goals.

Build a negotiation vision for him. Get the other negotiation party to see that giving you a good deal is to his or her advantage. Without a solid vision -- the one you are building for your negotiation opponent -- he or she will take no action and there will be no negotiation decision or agreement. Spend all of your time getting information about his or her world, understanding the anticipated challenges and problems -- so you can present yourself as the solution.

Do not try to be friends. Your negotiation opponent is not your friend. You are not seeking loyalty or a long-term relationship -- symbols of neediness. What you want, instead, is respect and a fair negotiation agreement that accomplishes your negotiation mission and purpose, and fulfills his or her vision.

Jim Camp's Decision-Based Negotiation™ training system has been used successfully by over 100,000 people in business transactions totaling over $100 billion. Visit his negotiation training website at http://www.startwithno.com.

Want to reprint this negotiation training article? Call Jim Camp at 614-764-0213 or email him at jcamp@startwithno.com to find out how.