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Expert negotiation trainer and coach shares insider negotiation training tips that give you a competitive edge at the negotiating table.
In Jim Camp's negotiating training system, your ability to ask the right negotiation questions -- and ask them in the right way -- is the single most important negotiation training skill at the table. Your well-chosen negotiation questions determine who's in control of the negotiation dialogue, how your negotiation adversary feels about you, and what kind of critical negotiation information you can extract to land the deal-making advantage.
Tip 1: Always create vision with questions by starting negotiating questions with an interrogative -- who, what, when, where, why, how, and which.
Interrogative questions are a key means of negotiation discovery. They get your negotiation adversary visualizing and giving precious negotiation details. Starting a negotiating question with a verb, on the other hand, will close the door on precious vision by enabling the other negotiating side to answer with a one-word "yes," "no," or "maybe." When this happens, you lose control in the negotiation; advantage goes to your negotiating opponent.
Wrong: Is this the biggest issue we face?
Right: What is the biggest issue we face?
Wrong: Do you think we should bring Mary into the loop?
Right: How does Mary fit into this?
Wrong: Does it fit into your needs?
Right: How does it fit?
Tip 2: Take every opportunity to nurture your negotiation adversary -- with your delivery and your phrasing -- as you ask negotiating questions.
Nurturing must not be confused with being easy and soft, nor does it signal arbitrary compromise or mean "saving the adversary" from a tough negotiation decision. Rather, it is a human effort at communicating through behavior that brings down barriers. It allows open exchange of negotiation information that gives you access to their negotiation vision and concerns.
Not nurturing: Adversary: What will this option do for me?
You: Well, what's your biggest challenge at the moment? (too aggressive)
Nurturing: Adversary: What will this option do for me?
You: That's a good question, Sam. Before we get into that, what is the biggest challenge you face? (more respectful; puts Sam at ease)
Tip 3: Answer negotiating questions with a question, even if you think you already know the answer.
This is called a "reverse." A reverse assures that you're dealing with the real negotiating question for you, thereby allowing you to gather more insight and negotiation information for your side. Reversing is nothing more than a psychological principle of reaction that allows the other negotiating side the chance to provide you with clarification.
Reverse: Adversary: How much does it cost?
You: Well, that depends on a number of different facets of control. What areas require control?
Tip 4: When faced with a provocative remark from your negotiation adversary, use it to your negotiating advantage as a basis for prying out more negotiation information.
This type of negotiation response on your part is called a "connector," and it will keep you from walking into an emotional trap. You can also use it to get your negotiation adversary to fill out the negotiation picture for you. It is a psychological principle that allows discussion of their negotiation vision to continue. Examples of connectors would be: "And…?" or "Which means...?" Another type of connector is silence on your part, which makes the negotiation adversary rush to fill in the blank.
Connector: Adversary: This is a very difficult situation.
You: Interesting. Aannnnnnd? [This is drawn out, accompanied by an encouraging shrug. The negotiation adversary sees you are reaching out emotionally, and wants to help you out by filling you in.]
Jim Camp's Decision-Based Negotiation™ training system has been used successfully by over 100,000 people in business transactions totaling over $100 billion. Visit his negotiation training website at .
Want to reprint this negotiation training article? Call Jim Camp at 614-764-0213 or email him at to find out how.
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